Insomnia

It turns out I haven't named any of my posts "Insomnia" yet. Which is weird, considering it seems to be the motivating factor for about 70% of all my posts. Kind of like this one.

So here I am, at 3am, having just failed to get to sleep for the last two hours, writing a blog post. I'm honestly struggling to come up with things to talk about past "what I've been doing for the last <insert time since last blog post>". I'm not really sure many people appreciate getting nothing more than brief snapshots into the train wreck that is my life. Especially since I can't really say much had changed. Exams are almost over, I guess. My last one - for Comp - is on Wednesday, and I'm feeling pretty good about it, which is more than I could have said for Physics and Maths. After that, well, I'll be off trying to find stuff to do for almost four weeks again. It will probably involve copious amounts of drinking.

But enough of that. My life really isn't that interesting. Makes me wonder why I have a blog in the first place, to be honest. The answer is because I was convinced my brain held hidden gems that were just waiting to be thrust out onto the interwebs for the viewing pleasure of at least like, a dozen people. Maybe a dozen and a half. The reality is that if those gems do exist, my brain filtering system decides to keep me from thinking about those instead of the flood of crap that it's actually meant to keep out. And so I end up with all sorts of useless junk going through my mind at 3am in the morning, thus resulting in this blog post.

Hmm... Two paragraphs so far, I must be on a roll today. Maybe I can keep it going if I just keep typing and not think about the fact that nobody in their right mind would want to read the garbage that spews forth from my brain like some kind of limitless trash fountain into the small confined area that is my blog. But meh, screw those people. I never enjoyed talking to right-minded people anyway. I only like crazy people. They're much more entertaining, so long as you can keep them from delivering severe bodily harm to people. People who aren't you, that is. Or people who you care about. Or anybody who isn't a person you have a severe hatred for. But in every other case, that shit is hilarious.

Let's see... what else has been going on? I may have mentioned this already, but I've been playing some crazy amount of Borderlands 2 recently. I've kind of already finished the game though. Twice. I'm planning on getting the DLC for it as soon as the bank gets its shit together and sends me my debit card. Which might not be for a while, since they apparently managed to send it to a totally different branch to the one that they were supposed to. Hopefully I can get it by Friday though, since dropping by the bank on campus might be a bit of a hassle once I'm back home in Orange. Not that I'm opposed to a three and a half hour drive, mind you. It just doesn't seem practical from my viewpoint is all.

Also, I've now watched all of both existing seasons of Sherlock, and I can now see what all the fuss is about. It's a good show. I'm currently two episodes into Breaking Bad, but I seem to be taking my time with this show, not entirely sure why. Maybe it's the awkwardly-lengthed episodes or the fact that despite my outward appearance, I'm just not that into crystal meth. Or more likely, it's the fact that I only watch it when it's past midnight and then I need to go to sleep shortly after. Probably that last one.

I should probably stop typing now. I get the impression the quality of my writing has dropped somewhat dramatically over the last three paragraphs. Although I'm still not tired enough to sleep, which is kind of bullshit. And I still have almost nothing to write about. Maybe if I just completely abstained from computers for three weeks I'd have more interesting tales to tell. As it is, most of my time which could otherwise be spent experiencing adventures and other tales of derring-do is instead consumed by my apparently voracious appetite for banality. Whoo.

And with that charming end note, I'm off to try my luck at being tired elsewhere on the Internet. Farewell, all ye who venture here!

I don't know what this post is supposed to be.

But I've already committed to writing it, so I might as well keep going.





...Or not. I've been here for about fifteen minutes and I still haven't written anything.

Oh well.

The Kind of Okay Gatsby

I just got back from watching The Great Gatsby. Y'know, the story is really profound in a number of ways. Essentially, it's the story of a man who refuses to let go of the future which he's constructed for himself, and how his staunch refusal to allow anything to deviate from his own preconceived destiny eventually tears his life apart. The story actually resonates with me a little bit, and watching the film, it made me think that perhaps I should be taking some kind of lesson from Gatsby, whose relentless pursuit of a perfect love blinds him to the world around him. Gatsby creates a fantasy for himself which  includes only himself and the object of his desire, and when that starts to drift away, so too does his entire life.

...But, on the other hand, I don't really care that much.



Oh, and the movie was pretty good, too.

Life Update

So it suddenly occurred to me how long it's been since I made a blog post. Not that that's ever really been much of a reason to make one in the past, but I'm kind of bored and in a procrastinating mood, so why not update my one or two regular readers as two what the hell has been going on in my life since the last blog post.... Wait.

It's only been three weeks? WHAT MADNESS IS THIS. Hrm. I don't know if it's a good thing or not that three weeks is starting to look like a long time from where I'm standing. Either way, I've already started this post, so I might as well finish it.

So a lot has happened, I guess. I think I've finally managed to get my Uni work under control (and it's now the end of week 8. Eek!), and it seems to be going well so far. I still don't like Maths and Physics, but I'm pretty sure that's more because of when the lectures are than anything else. Comp and Engineering are going pretty well - we just got our project for Computing, which is to represent a game (similar to Settlers of Catan) in code as a tutorial group, and then in pairs to create an AI to play that game (and hopefully win).  It looks like a lot of fun.

Exams are on next month, and I'm kind of quietly freaking out about them, but I figure I can get most of my work up to date well before then and in time to cram furiously for the harder ones. After that is the end of semester, yay!

Let's see... what else is going on? I've recently been playing Injustice for iOS, because Superheroes beating each other up - who wouldn't like that? I'm not playing the much more advanced console version because I a) have no console on which to play and b) have no TV to connect the console up to. So I'm stuck on my iPad. Which I guess isn't too bad, really. I started reading the Dark Tower series by Stephen King back in O-Week and I still haven't touched the first book since then, but I'll get around to it. Eventually. I've also been sucked in to League of Legends and re-sucked in to Minecraft, which is slightly worrying, but I kind of don't really care for the moment.

I still don't have a girlfriend, although I can't exactly say that I've been trying very hard (or at all). It also occurred to me just the other day in the club, exactly how socially broken I am. Which is kind of depressing and something I really don't actually have any idea what to do about. Did I ever mention I was made a Social Assistant for College? Well then... that happened. And I've also, for various reasons had to cut out a large part of my personal life, but that's something I plan to eventually return to.

And so there you have it. My social life is a mess, my private life is also a mess, but at least my academic life isn't completely a mess. I still pretend like my conscious mind has control over my actions when in reality I continually knowingly make stupid decisions because I apparently have no impulse control, and I think I may also have a slight alcohol problem. Namely that I have none except for cheap boxed wine.

BALANCE!

That's hardly anything new, is it? Well, not if you know me at all, that is.

Anyway, I'm still conflicted as to whether or not me being drunk is a good thing or not. In general, it's a terribly bad thing, but that also means I'm having fun which is about three quarters of what I care about life, right?

Well, wrong. I think. If I was trying to maximise my profits on enjoyment on life, such that I would have to enjoy all of my later life and therefore have no life whatsoever during my university years, then I would totally be on the wrong track right at this moment. Because I would be enjoying myself when all of my reasonable state of mind says I shouldn't be.

So today's lesson is about BALANCE.

This is, arguably, the single most important lesson there is to learn. Balance is EVERYTHING.

And EVERYTHING mean almost everything. This is the point where I go in to feng shui and all that, but the central idea you need to keep in mind is that everything you do has consequences. And all of those consequences are balanced in some way by the universe. In general, you can sum a lot of this up through Newton's third law: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

This means, if you do something which benefits you in the short term, then it will ultimately hinder you in the long run. Furthermore, something which might not seem at the time to be a wise choice might ultimately result in a greater position for yourself later on.

Okay, I'll be the first to admit that Newton's Laws were meant for physical applications rather than moral ones. But the point still stands that everything that comes around, goes around. In a very much more verbose fashion, but still.

So yeah. Balance. Balance in everything you do, say and think. That's what it all comes down to. If you have no balance then <insert weird crazy zen talk here> and you will never find true happiness.


Trufax.

Post

Posty post post post. Post.

I need to sleep.

50th Post, Whoo!

...And of course there's no better time to make it than when I really really should be studying for a Calculus test tomorrow.

But you know, fuck Calculus and all that whatnot.

I'd like to point out that this blog has actually been going since October 2011, meaning that I've had it for just under a year and a half. In those 36 months I've managed to rack up an average of just over one and a third posts per month, which means one post every 23 days or so. Of course, that's just an average and is totally ignoring that time I did like three in one day because I was bored as fuck, or when I actually managed to post one every day for a week and a bit. Or even for the last two months when I've just posted a bunch because I actually bookmarked Blogger so I don't go forgetting about the fact that I even have a blog in the first place.

That said, for all my many many posts, there's surprisingly little actual content. I'm convinced a good third or more of all my posts are all just made when I was bored and figured I should just make posts because it might alleviate the boredom for a bit.... kind of like right now! How about that.

...Okay I actually don't have anything to say. I feel like I should make a big deal over the fact that after all this time, I've finally managed to hit a half century in posts, but in light of the fact that a decent majority of those are kind of content- and/or meaning-free, it doesn't feel like all that much of an achievement. It's honestly more impressive that I've kept at it for this long.


Well, that's it, I guess. Not much to say really. Maybe I'll do something more celebratory-like later on.