On Offence

Fuck you.

See what I did there? I just offended you, just like that. It was so easy. So easy, in fact, that it's perfectly possible to do it completely by accident. Everybody gets offended at one point in their life. If you tell me that you have never once been offended by anybody, ever, on any topic, then, frankly, you're wrong. In fact, if you were so bold as to make such a claim, I would go out of my way to offend you.

But it doesn't work like that. You can't offend someone if they know you're trying to offend them! It's as though the intent to cause harm instantly makes it less offensive! Meanwhile, accidental offences are so common, and yet so much more offensive. I might make some offhand remark about how your religion is misguided, make sweeping generalisations about you and whatever groups you may belong to, or crack a joke at your expense - knowing that it's just a joke, and yet you will still be offended.  Why is this? Why is it that one must not mean to offend before it actually occurs?

[[I wrote a huge paragraph here, then deleted it because it doesn't support my case whatsoever.]]

I thought about it, and the answer to me is this: The intent behind offence is completely irrelevant. What matters, is the belief behind it. Generally, offhand remarks will in some way reflect that person's beliefs, as an unintentional side-effect, rather than the sole purpose. However, if I say something for the sole purpose of creating offence, then it doesn't matter what my core beliefs are, because I'm ignoring them to offend you.  Does this make any sense?

Let's take a look at the word offence actually means. I don't have a dictionary on hand, and I can't be bothered to google it, so I'll be doing this by ear. Offence, or to be offensive, to offend. In warfare, when you are attacking, you are on the offensive, you are offending your opponent.  Offensive = attacking. Attacking implies damage. Therefore, if I'm right about both the root of the word, and beliefs, when you say "This offends me", you are really saying, "It is damaging to me to know that you believe that." And there it is. To know you believe that. Because we always want to see the best in people, we can't take offence if their beliefs do not come into account! Thus, a pessimist will always take offence, while an optimist, or just a naive person, will certainly take much less offence.

So there you have it, folks. If you want to offend someone, you have to make them really believe that YOU believe it.




I don't even know why I wrote this post any more.