Words and Emotion

So, some stuff has happened over the last week. Week and a bit, if you want to be specific. Anyway, I thought I'd share my, uh... thoughts.



"Discuss" is an interesting word. It seems to me that the word itself is misused a lot, or at least in my eyes. To me, the word implies polite, level-headed discourse, and is the cornerstone of any reasoned conversation. And yet, too often, a discussion turns into an argument. My Dad, in particular, is fond of euphemising these as "heated discussions" or a "robust conversation". To me, that, is not a discussion. Raised voices and insults just result in more raised voices and insults. Remarks made under the guise of civility just result in hurt feelings. No. To me, "discuss" is possibly the most powerful tool we as a species can wield (not to be with discus, although I suppose one of those could be potentially lethal in the right hands). To advance as individuals and as a group, we must master the art of peaceful discussion, and never let heated emotions colour your voice.

Emotions are tricky things. Too often, they threaten to consume us, resulting in words spoken or actions taken that we might not ordinarily say or do. And once these things have been put out there, it's nigh impossible to put them back. Sometimes this is for the better. Most times, it's not. Which is why controlling one's emotions is one of the key skills in human communication.

But there's another thing that emotions will taint. Not only the words which are sent out into the world, but also the meaning which is recieved. Anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment - all of these can and do erode away our ability to listen.

This last point is important. Because just as discussion is the most powerful tool we possess as a species, the ability to listen is the skill required to operate that tool. It is this crucial skill, to listen to reason, that allows us to respond with reason when it becomes our turn to speak. But without listening, without hearing what the other person has to say, we are effectively dooming ourselves to a fruitless conversation.

So, what? Emotions affect listening, so they have no place in conversation? Of course not. One should control their emotions, not destroy them. Emotions are what let us enjoy life. Discussion, in the long run, is what hopefully keeps it enjoyable. With that in mind, it is crucial that one is mindful of both they're own and others' emotion. While you are not responsible for you're own emotions, you do have complete control over how they manifest. In a similar vein, it is not up to you to be aware of every hypersensitivity that others possess, and yet if you wish to continue with reasoned discussion, you have a responsibility to never, EVER be intentionally harmful to another's emotions.

So that's it. Listen without bias, and respond in the same manner. Don't let your emotions overwhelm, but don't ignore them, either. Maybe if everybody follows this advice, we can start moving forwards.