Legit Post no. 2

Okay, so it's quarter past ten on a Sunday night, and I have to work in ten hours. What do I do?

Write a blog post of course!

This post is legit because I have like twelve (read: more than I can be bothered to remember right now) things to post about.

BEFORE I START, THOUGH, I want to point out, just in case anybody who care's has noticed, that the title of this post has a no., while the title of the first legit post has a hash. WHY IS THIS? Because for some stupid reason, British Mac keyboards do not have a hash button. So, until I go over to the dark side and use a PC, you will not see a single hash in this blog. At least, until I get back to Australia.

Now, onwards!

Thing the first! So, it was Australia day on Thursday. Aaaand I really wanted to say something about that. Buuuut I don't have anything to say, besides "Happy belated Australia Day!" Or whatever.

Number two! As a tie-in to the fact that it was Australia day on Thursday, I went to a club last Sunday! The place I went to was called The Church (hey, free plug for them), and they were having an Australia Day celebration, all of four days early. While there, I drank eight drinks in an hour and proceeded to get kicked out about an hour and a half after it opened. But not before losing my phone. SUCCESS!

Which brings me to my third thing. I lost my phone. Now, I e-mailed The Church, and they told me that they didn't have it, and told me to try the actual premises where The Church is located. They also told me they didn't have it. So now I have no phone. All this about a week after getting a new sim card. So yeah, I have no phone. My current plan is to wait until my next paycheck (15th of Feb) and then buy an iPhone 4S. Because, you know, why the hell not?

Now, I was going to talk about something for thing number four (or at least i think so), but I forgot what it was. So now I'm going to segue seamlessly from what I did LAST weekend, to what I did THIS weekend! That is to say, we tried to go clubbing last night. It kind of failed. Spectacularly. After a quick stop for £2.50 Jägerbombs and an annoyingly long tube ride, we ended up near Shoreditch (wherever the hell that is), and proceeded down the street to where we were assured clubs lay in wait.

Sure enough, they did.

However, we made the mistake of asking a passing lady for directions/advice, because apparently we were trying to get to some specific club, which we had also forgotten the name of. So instead, following the advice of this lovely lady, we went to a place called El Paso. In the basement of this cocktail bar with a name that sounds like a mexican restaurant was a dance... place with pumping bass and flashing lights, with the charming little name of The Gopher Hole.

We stayed there, had some tequila shots, then left when we realised that we were pretty much the only people actually dancing. As we were leaving, however, about fifty people walked back through the same doors, so after an uneventful stroll down the street, where we went into a completely packed bar and then left just as quickly, and also found the two clubs we were looking fro but couldn't be fucked to stand out in the cold in the line, we returned to The Gopher Hole. Of course, by this time there was maybe three extra people in there, and a different DJ, so we didn't stay long.

By this time it was something like quarter to two, so we made the decision to make our way back home and instead get drunk off cheap Tesco's liquor. So, we made our way to the tube station, which just happened to have closed half an hour earlier, and then got advice to take the bus from a passing guy who also took all my change (He was actually promoting The Big Issue, and the liquor made me feel generous). So we waited for the bus all out in the cold, and took bus number N55 to Oxford Circus. We met some nice Canadian guy, talked to him on the way there, and then got off the bus, promptly walking off in the wrong direction for the next bus, since we actually had no clue as to what bus we were supposed to take,  or where it left from. Luckily, I happened to spy the word "HAMMERSMITH" as the destination of bus no. N10, so we crossed the road to get to the bus, only to get denied by the bus driver, since the bus stop was actually three blocks down in the other direction.

So we followed that bus down to the bus stop, missed it because it turns out that busses drive faster than slightly tipsy people walk, and then went to Macca's (McDonald's, for all you non-aussies out there) to get some food while we waited for the next bus. It finally arrived, we played with the security camera while we waited to get to the last stop, finally got back, only to discover Tesco's Express doesn't sell alcohol after 11pm. I finally got to bed at about 3:30 am.

This morning I played Zelda all day.

Aaaaand thing number five. Which is what was going to be thing number four, until I forgot about it. So, in startling contrast to the monster of a story, here is a haiku I wrote about Jesus:

Jesus is a bitch.
Always speaks in parables,
I don't understand.

THE END :D.