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This was a blog post.
Thursday, 9 February 2012
Tuesday, 7 February 2012
This is the post where I explain relativity...
...Using the exact same justification I have for almost every post to date.
Plus, every good blog needs one of these, right?
So, anyway. Down to business: Relativity.
Specifically special relativity because general relativity is weird confusing and generally (heheh) annoying.
So. Here are some things you need to know. The basics, if you will.
Back in the day, when people thought they knew everything about physics, there were two absolutes: Space and time. That is, one second is, was, and always will be, one second. The same for one metre. These two were related in lots of special ways (inbred twats), but the most simple of these was d = s.t.
Distance = speed times time. Speed was viewed as relative because it changed while time and distance changed.
HOWEVER, then a chap named Einstein came along, and he was all like, "You know, I wonder how fast light travels" (or some shit; don't quote me on this, they might have already known how fast light travelled). In fact, he wen't further than this. He said to himself, "Now I wonder if it's possible to go at the speed of light. What would that be like?"
So, he set off doing these weird wacked out 'thought-experiments', whereby he imagined a train. A train capable of ridiculously high speeds. Close-to-and-exceeding-the-speed-of-light type speeds. And he imagined himself sitting on this train, facing forward, staring at a mirror. Now, if the train was going at really high speeds, then, what would he experience?
[If I wasn't fucking lazy there'd be a picture here]
The general gist of that non-existent picture up there is that as he got closer and closer to the speed of light, some weird shit would happen, and as he exceeded it, well - the light that is reflected off his face into the mirror would never reach the mirror, as it was going at the same speed (or faster) than the light.
Now, I can't remember the reasoning behind this, but Einstein came out of this with two major points. Firstly, that it is impossible to exceed the speed of light, and secondly that the speed of light is constant, regardless of your frame of reference.
Now, that might not seem like much of a big deal, but that second one is the insane part of relativity. If you don't get frame of reference, then I'll explain it to you. Imagine you are in a car, travelling at, say, 10 m/s. Another car, travelling at 15 m/s passes you. Now, from your frame of reference, that car is actually only travelling at 5 m/s. Which makes sense, right? I mean, you're already travelling at 10 m/s, so why would you see the car travelling that extra 10 m/s?
Conversely, if a car passes you in the other direction, going at 15 m/s, then you see it moving at 25 m/s. Because you're already travelling at 10 m/s the other way, so this car is actually passing you 10 m/s faster than what the guy in that car is reading on his speedometer.
The general gist of frame of reference is that if you are in a non-accelerating (A.K.A inertial) frame of reference, it is actually impossible to realise that you are moving, without some kind of outside reference source. The only reasons why you can tell that you're moving in the car are because a) the speedometer says so, b) you can see the earth moving past you, and c) you can feel the bumps in the road. But take out the speedo, and put yourself on a perfectly smooth road, and it might as well be that it's not you that's moving in reference to the earth, but the earth that's moving in reference to you.
Note that this only works in non-accelerating frames of reference. The moment you slow down or speed up, you get forces acting and you enter general relativity. Not good.
So... yeah. Where was I before this random (but necessary) sidetrack? Oh, right, yeah. Speed of light is a constant.
The reason why this is so trippy is because, with you're newly found knowledge of frame of reference, you know that speed is relative. Speeds change depending on what your own speed is, and it should be the same with light, right? (hehe, it rhymes)
WRONG. The speed of light is constant, regardless of frame of reference. Say, someone shines a light on you, while you are staying still. The light beam comes towards you at exactly the speed of light (roughly 3 hundred million m/s or 3x10^8 m/s), as you'd expect. Now, imagine that you are running away from this light beam, and apply your knowledge of frame of reference. Say, for simplicity's sake, you are running at half the speed of light when they switch on their torch. You pull out you're incredibly advanced measuring software to measure the speed of the light that's coming towards you. It should be roughly half of the speed of light. But it's not. Because the speed of light is constant, absolute. It is coming at you, still at 3x10^8 m/s. Which, when you think about it, is really weird.
One of the weirdest things about this is that there are some really interesting side-effects. Let's start of with simultaneity. Generally, when someone sees two things happen at the same time, someone else sees the same two things happen at the same time. Not so when you factor in relativity.
Thought experiment time! [insert relevant diagram here]
Let's examine the set up in that diagram. We have a train, travelling at high, constant speeds= (the actual speed doesn't really matter), with a light bulb in the middle. At each end of the train, we have a sensor which will itself emit a light when it detects the light from the lightbulb in the middle of the train. We also have a person sitting inside the train, directly below the light bulb, in the middle of the train.
Suppose this guy turns on the light bulb (why would he though? You're already going at ridiculously high speeds. Why would you want to worry about something as trivial as vision?). The light from the light bulb travels from the bulb to the sensors at each end, reaching each sensor at exactly the same time. Why wouldn't it? I mean, it's the same distance and the light is travelling at the same speed; the times are therefore exactly the same. The sensors activate, and each returns a light back to the person, who notices both new light sources at exactly the same time. This is important. And it makes sense, right?
Now, imagine that you are standing on a platform when you see this train go past. It's a perfectly clear train, so you have no problems seeing inside, and the guy happens to flip the switch at the exact moment that you are standing directly opposite him, at the station. What do you see? The correct answer would be "nothing, the train is already gone by the time I have any chance to think about it". But, since everyone in thought experiments are endowed with precision timing and pinpoint mental faculties, we're gonna have to work it out.
From your point of view, the train whizzes past. The light turns on, and the light rays travel from the light bulb to the sensor. Right so far. The light rays hit each sensor, at exactly the same time. WRONG! You see the light travelling at the speed of light! And the train travelling at half the speed of light! So by the time the light has travelled two-thirds of the way towards the back of the train, the sensor's already caught up with it! Conversely, even when the light has travelled the distance towards the front of the train, the sensor's moved on by then! It takes longer to reach the front of the train than it does the back! You do not see the sensors flash their lights at exactly the same time! Instead, you see them at different times! Exclamation marks!
That, my friends, is how relativity fucks up your shit.
There's a lot more to it than that, though (Alot more to it?). Time dilation, length contraction, mass dilation, energy to mass equivalence (e=mc^2)... aaaaaand, that's about it. But I'm too lazy to explain those to you, so I'll let the diagrams do it.
[more non-existent diagrams]
...But seriously, I'll explain time dilation, because that's the trippiest bit, in my opinion. The rest you can go and figure out for yourself or something. Be warned: there is another thought experiment comi-
Whoah, too late.
So, you're on that train again. Different carriage this time, I guess. This one has a super-fancy ultra-pro light clock. Deluxe. Gold edition. Or something. The basic premise behind a light clock is that it sends out a pulse of light, which bounces off a mirror, and arrives back at the clock. By knowing the exact speed of the light (you do) and the exact distance the light has to travel (you do as well), you can measure the time very accurately. So, as you're flying along at half the speed of light, you can tell the time. Whoopee. Does it matter? You're going to get anywhere you want to be in record time anyway, right? WRONG AGAIN. Y'see, it works like this. The train is moving along at half the speed of light. An observer from the platform or the ground next to the railway track or even from fucking space with a telescope (hint: IT DOESN'T MATTER) watches the train going past. Now, knowing that the speed of light is the same for all observers, this guy can also use the light clock inside the train to measure the time, if he so chooses. Maybe he already has his own light clock. If he does, then he can go to hell. Nobody likes him. Rich-ass bitch, flaunting his wealth in front of all of us. We're trying to do SCIENCE here!
*ahem*
Anyway, the guy uses the light clock inside the train to measure the time. But - hang on! The train is moving! By the time the light has returned to the sensor, it's moved on! In fact, it's moved on by the time it hits the mirror, and moved even further by the time it returns to the sensor. If you chart the light beam's path, it looks a little like this:
[last non-existent diagram, I promise]
So you can see that the light beam actually has to travel diagonally up, then down. In fact, this makes the path the light travels further than it was from inside the train! But wait, if d = s.t, then t=d/s. By making the distance longer, we're making time longer! DUN DUN DUUNNNN!!! So by travelling at high speeds, a longer time is actually passing by outside than inside. Which is why you might not make it in record time, anyway,
By doing some tricky maths, we can figure out that the relationship of the two times is that the time from the observer is actually the time from the one being observed (That might actually be the other way around), divided by the square root of one minus the speed the train is moving, squared, over the speed of light, squared. Or, t0 = tv/√(1-(v^2/c^2)).
That's time dilation. No, it's not time travel, it's barely even time control. In fact, using that formula, the only possible way to travel backwards in time, would be to travel at imaginary speeds. As in, quite literally something along the lines of i m/s. Which really isn't possible. Conversely, if it were possible to travel faster than light, the formula predicts that you would end up going through imaginary time. *insert spooky noises here*
Anyways, that's relativity. I didn't explain length contraction, or mass dilation, because honestly length contraction is like exactly the same thing except with the light clock sideways, and I can't remember the thought experiment for mass dilation.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Hope you enjoyed it, I guess.
I'mma go now.
Plus, every good blog needs one of these, right?
So, anyway. Down to business: Relativity.
Specifically special relativity because general relativity is weird confusing and generally (heheh) annoying.
So. Here are some things you need to know. The basics, if you will.
Back in the day, when people thought they knew everything about physics, there were two absolutes: Space and time. That is, one second is, was, and always will be, one second. The same for one metre. These two were related in lots of special ways (inbred twats), but the most simple of these was d = s.t.
Distance = speed times time. Speed was viewed as relative because it changed while time and distance changed.
HOWEVER, then a chap named Einstein came along, and he was all like, "You know, I wonder how fast light travels" (or some shit; don't quote me on this, they might have already known how fast light travelled). In fact, he wen't further than this. He said to himself, "Now I wonder if it's possible to go at the speed of light. What would that be like?"
So, he set off doing these weird wacked out 'thought-experiments', whereby he imagined a train. A train capable of ridiculously high speeds. Close-to-and-exceeding-the-speed-of-light type speeds. And he imagined himself sitting on this train, facing forward, staring at a mirror. Now, if the train was going at really high speeds, then, what would he experience?
[If I wasn't fucking lazy there'd be a picture here]
The general gist of that non-existent picture up there is that as he got closer and closer to the speed of light, some weird shit would happen, and as he exceeded it, well - the light that is reflected off his face into the mirror would never reach the mirror, as it was going at the same speed (or faster) than the light.
Now, I can't remember the reasoning behind this, but Einstein came out of this with two major points. Firstly, that it is impossible to exceed the speed of light, and secondly that the speed of light is constant, regardless of your frame of reference.
Now, that might not seem like much of a big deal, but that second one is the insane part of relativity. If you don't get frame of reference, then I'll explain it to you. Imagine you are in a car, travelling at, say, 10 m/s. Another car, travelling at 15 m/s passes you. Now, from your frame of reference, that car is actually only travelling at 5 m/s. Which makes sense, right? I mean, you're already travelling at 10 m/s, so why would you see the car travelling that extra 10 m/s?
Conversely, if a car passes you in the other direction, going at 15 m/s, then you see it moving at 25 m/s. Because you're already travelling at 10 m/s the other way, so this car is actually passing you 10 m/s faster than what the guy in that car is reading on his speedometer.
The general gist of frame of reference is that if you are in a non-accelerating (A.K.A inertial) frame of reference, it is actually impossible to realise that you are moving, without some kind of outside reference source. The only reasons why you can tell that you're moving in the car are because a) the speedometer says so, b) you can see the earth moving past you, and c) you can feel the bumps in the road. But take out the speedo, and put yourself on a perfectly smooth road, and it might as well be that it's not you that's moving in reference to the earth, but the earth that's moving in reference to you.
Note that this only works in non-accelerating frames of reference. The moment you slow down or speed up, you get forces acting and you enter general relativity. Not good.
So... yeah. Where was I before this random (but necessary) sidetrack? Oh, right, yeah. Speed of light is a constant.
The reason why this is so trippy is because, with you're newly found knowledge of frame of reference, you know that speed is relative. Speeds change depending on what your own speed is, and it should be the same with light, right? (hehe, it rhymes)
WRONG. The speed of light is constant, regardless of frame of reference. Say, someone shines a light on you, while you are staying still. The light beam comes towards you at exactly the speed of light (roughly 3 hundred million m/s or 3x10^8 m/s), as you'd expect. Now, imagine that you are running away from this light beam, and apply your knowledge of frame of reference. Say, for simplicity's sake, you are running at half the speed of light when they switch on their torch. You pull out you're incredibly advanced measuring software to measure the speed of the light that's coming towards you. It should be roughly half of the speed of light. But it's not. Because the speed of light is constant, absolute. It is coming at you, still at 3x10^8 m/s. Which, when you think about it, is really weird.
One of the weirdest things about this is that there are some really interesting side-effects. Let's start of with simultaneity. Generally, when someone sees two things happen at the same time, someone else sees the same two things happen at the same time. Not so when you factor in relativity.
Thought experiment time! [insert relevant diagram here]
Let's examine the set up in that diagram. We have a train, travelling at high, constant speeds= (the actual speed doesn't really matter), with a light bulb in the middle. At each end of the train, we have a sensor which will itself emit a light when it detects the light from the lightbulb in the middle of the train. We also have a person sitting inside the train, directly below the light bulb, in the middle of the train.
Suppose this guy turns on the light bulb (why would he though? You're already going at ridiculously high speeds. Why would you want to worry about something as trivial as vision?). The light from the light bulb travels from the bulb to the sensors at each end, reaching each sensor at exactly the same time. Why wouldn't it? I mean, it's the same distance and the light is travelling at the same speed; the times are therefore exactly the same. The sensors activate, and each returns a light back to the person, who notices both new light sources at exactly the same time. This is important. And it makes sense, right?
Now, imagine that you are standing on a platform when you see this train go past. It's a perfectly clear train, so you have no problems seeing inside, and the guy happens to flip the switch at the exact moment that you are standing directly opposite him, at the station. What do you see? The correct answer would be "nothing, the train is already gone by the time I have any chance to think about it". But, since everyone in thought experiments are endowed with precision timing and pinpoint mental faculties, we're gonna have to work it out.
From your point of view, the train whizzes past. The light turns on, and the light rays travel from the light bulb to the sensor. Right so far. The light rays hit each sensor, at exactly the same time. WRONG! You see the light travelling at the speed of light! And the train travelling at half the speed of light! So by the time the light has travelled two-thirds of the way towards the back of the train, the sensor's already caught up with it! Conversely, even when the light has travelled the distance towards the front of the train, the sensor's moved on by then! It takes longer to reach the front of the train than it does the back! You do not see the sensors flash their lights at exactly the same time! Instead, you see them at different times! Exclamation marks!
That, my friends, is how relativity fucks up your shit.
There's a lot more to it than that, though (Alot more to it?). Time dilation, length contraction, mass dilation, energy to mass equivalence (e=mc^2)... aaaaaand, that's about it. But I'm too lazy to explain those to you, so I'll let the diagrams do it.
[more non-existent diagrams]
...But seriously, I'll explain time dilation, because that's the trippiest bit, in my opinion. The rest you can go and figure out for yourself or something. Be warned: there is another thought experiment comi-
Whoah, too late.
So, you're on that train again. Different carriage this time, I guess. This one has a super-fancy ultra-pro light clock. Deluxe. Gold edition. Or something. The basic premise behind a light clock is that it sends out a pulse of light, which bounces off a mirror, and arrives back at the clock. By knowing the exact speed of the light (you do) and the exact distance the light has to travel (you do as well), you can measure the time very accurately. So, as you're flying along at half the speed of light, you can tell the time. Whoopee. Does it matter? You're going to get anywhere you want to be in record time anyway, right? WRONG AGAIN. Y'see, it works like this. The train is moving along at half the speed of light. An observer from the platform or the ground next to the railway track or even from fucking space with a telescope (hint: IT DOESN'T MATTER) watches the train going past. Now, knowing that the speed of light is the same for all observers, this guy can also use the light clock inside the train to measure the time, if he so chooses. Maybe he already has his own light clock. If he does, then he can go to hell. Nobody likes him. Rich-ass bitch, flaunting his wealth in front of all of us. We're trying to do SCIENCE here!
*ahem*
Anyway, the guy uses the light clock inside the train to measure the time. But - hang on! The train is moving! By the time the light has returned to the sensor, it's moved on! In fact, it's moved on by the time it hits the mirror, and moved even further by the time it returns to the sensor. If you chart the light beam's path, it looks a little like this:
[last non-existent diagram, I promise]
So you can see that the light beam actually has to travel diagonally up, then down. In fact, this makes the path the light travels further than it was from inside the train! But wait, if d = s.t, then t=d/s. By making the distance longer, we're making time longer! DUN DUN DUUNNNN!!! So by travelling at high speeds, a longer time is actually passing by outside than inside. Which is why you might not make it in record time, anyway,
By doing some tricky maths, we can figure out that the relationship of the two times is that the time from the observer is actually the time from the one being observed (That might actually be the other way around), divided by the square root of one minus the speed the train is moving, squared, over the speed of light, squared. Or, t0 = tv/√(1-(v^2/c^2)).
That's time dilation. No, it's not time travel, it's barely even time control. In fact, using that formula, the only possible way to travel backwards in time, would be to travel at imaginary speeds. As in, quite literally something along the lines of i m/s. Which really isn't possible. Conversely, if it were possible to travel faster than light, the formula predicts that you would end up going through imaginary time. *insert spooky noises here*
Anyways, that's relativity. I didn't explain length contraction, or mass dilation, because honestly length contraction is like exactly the same thing except with the light clock sideways, and I can't remember the thought experiment for mass dilation.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Hope you enjoyed it, I guess.
I'mma go now.
Sunday, 5 February 2012
Thursday, 2 February 2012
So, anyway...
I decided to make a blog post. Why, you might ask? Why the fuck not, I would answer!
But seriously, I had a sudden urge to write a blog post. Although, shortly after having that sudden urge, it dawned on me that I had nothing to write about.
That's right. Me. Nothing to write about. The guy who has made about four decent-sized posts in half a year. Not that surprising really.
But, you know what? FUCK. THAT. SHIT.
I will goddamn post whenever the fuck I want to. Regardless of any content. I am WRITING A BLOG, HERE, PEOPLE! I can not let my readership (all five of them) down! THEY ARE DEMANDING MORE POSTS.
Well, they're not. Really, you lot seem rather apathetic, to be honest.
Fuck you guys.
(Kidding, but seriously.)
But seriously, I had a sudden urge to write a blog post. Although, shortly after having that sudden urge, it dawned on me that I had nothing to write about.
That's right. Me. Nothing to write about. The guy who has made about four decent-sized posts in half a year. Not that surprising really.
But, you know what? FUCK. THAT. SHIT.
I will goddamn post whenever the fuck I want to. Regardless of any content. I am WRITING A BLOG, HERE, PEOPLE! I can not let my readership (all five of them) down! THEY ARE DEMANDING MORE POSTS.
Well, they're not. Really, you lot seem rather apathetic, to be honest.
Fuck you guys.
(Kidding, but seriously.)
Sunday, 29 January 2012
Legit Post no. 2
Okay, so it's quarter past ten on a Sunday night, and I have to work in ten hours. What do I do?
Write a blog post of course!
This post is legit because I have like twelve (read: more than I can be bothered to remember right now) things to post about.
BEFORE I START, THOUGH, I want to point out, just in case anybody who care's has noticed, that the title of this post has a no., while the title of the first legit post has a hash. WHY IS THIS? Because for some stupid reason, British Mac keyboards do not have a hash button. So, until I go over to the dark side and use a PC, you will not see a single hash in this blog. At least, until I get back to Australia.
Now, onwards!
Thing the first! So, it was Australia day on Thursday. Aaaand I really wanted to say something about that. Buuuut I don't have anything to say, besides "Happy belated Australia Day!" Or whatever.
Number two! As a tie-in to the fact that it was Australia day on Thursday, I went to a club last Sunday! The place I went to was called The Church (hey, free plug for them), and they were having an Australia Day celebration, all of four days early. While there, I drank eight drinks in an hour and proceeded to get kicked out about an hour and a half after it opened. But not before losing my phone. SUCCESS!
Which brings me to my third thing. I lost my phone. Now, I e-mailed The Church, and they told me that they didn't have it, and told me to try the actual premises where The Church is located. They also told me they didn't have it. So now I have no phone. All this about a week after getting a new sim card. So yeah, I have no phone. My current plan is to wait until my next paycheck (15th of Feb) and then buy an iPhone 4S. Because, you know, why the hell not?
Now, I was going to talk about something for thing number four (or at least i think so), but I forgot what it was. So now I'm going to segue seamlessly from what I did LAST weekend, to what I did THIS weekend! That is to say, we tried to go clubbing last night. It kind of failed. Spectacularly. After a quick stop for £2.50 Jägerbombs and an annoyingly long tube ride, we ended up near Shoreditch (wherever the hell that is), and proceeded down the street to where we were assured clubs lay in wait.
Sure enough, they did.
However, we made the mistake of asking a passing lady for directions/advice, because apparently we were trying to get to some specific club, which we had also forgotten the name of. So instead, following the advice of this lovely lady, we went to a place called El Paso. In the basement of this cocktail bar with a name that sounds like a mexican restaurant was a dance... place with pumping bass and flashing lights, with the charming little name of The Gopher Hole.
We stayed there, had some tequila shots, then left when we realised that we were pretty much the only people actually dancing. As we were leaving, however, about fifty people walked back through the same doors, so after an uneventful stroll down the street, where we went into a completely packed bar and then left just as quickly, and also found the two clubs we were looking fro but couldn't be fucked to stand out in the cold in the line, we returned to The Gopher Hole. Of course, by this time there was maybe three extra people in there, and a different DJ, so we didn't stay long.
By this time it was something like quarter to two, so we made the decision to make our way back home and instead get drunk off cheap Tesco's liquor. So, we made our way to the tube station, which just happened to have closed half an hour earlier, and then got advice to take the bus from a passing guy who also took all my change (He was actually promoting The Big Issue, and the liquor made me feel generous). So we waited for the bus all out in the cold, and took bus number N55 to Oxford Circus. We met some nice Canadian guy, talked to him on the way there, and then got off the bus, promptly walking off in the wrong direction for the next bus, since we actually had no clue as to what bus we were supposed to take, or where it left from. Luckily, I happened to spy the word "HAMMERSMITH" as the destination of bus no. N10, so we crossed the road to get to the bus, only to get denied by the bus driver, since the bus stop was actually three blocks down in the other direction.
So we followed that bus down to the bus stop, missed it because it turns out that busses drive faster than slightly tipsy people walk, and then went to Macca's (McDonald's, for all you non-aussies out there) to get some food while we waited for the next bus. It finally arrived, we played with the security camera while we waited to get to the last stop, finally got back, only to discover Tesco's Express doesn't sell alcohol after 11pm. I finally got to bed at about 3:30 am.
This morning I played Zelda all day.
Aaaaand thing number five. Which is what was going to be thing number four, until I forgot about it. So, in startling contrast to the monster of a story, here is a haiku I wrote about Jesus:
Jesus is a bitch.
Always speaks in parables,
I don't understand.
THE END :D.
Write a blog post of course!
This post is legit because I have like twelve (read: more than I can be bothered to remember right now) things to post about.
BEFORE I START, THOUGH, I want to point out, just in case anybody who care's has noticed, that the title of this post has a no., while the title of the first legit post has a hash. WHY IS THIS? Because for some stupid reason, British Mac keyboards do not have a hash button. So, until I go over to the dark side and use a PC, you will not see a single hash in this blog. At least, until I get back to Australia.
Now, onwards!
Thing the first! So, it was Australia day on Thursday. Aaaand I really wanted to say something about that. Buuuut I don't have anything to say, besides "Happy belated Australia Day!" Or whatever.
Number two! As a tie-in to the fact that it was Australia day on Thursday, I went to a club last Sunday! The place I went to was called The Church (hey, free plug for them), and they were having an Australia Day celebration, all of four days early. While there, I drank eight drinks in an hour and proceeded to get kicked out about an hour and a half after it opened. But not before losing my phone. SUCCESS!
Which brings me to my third thing. I lost my phone. Now, I e-mailed The Church, and they told me that they didn't have it, and told me to try the actual premises where The Church is located. They also told me they didn't have it. So now I have no phone. All this about a week after getting a new sim card. So yeah, I have no phone. My current plan is to wait until my next paycheck (15th of Feb) and then buy an iPhone 4S. Because, you know, why the hell not?
Now, I was going to talk about something for thing number four (or at least i think so), but I forgot what it was. So now I'm going to segue seamlessly from what I did LAST weekend, to what I did THIS weekend! That is to say, we tried to go clubbing last night. It kind of failed. Spectacularly. After a quick stop for £2.50 Jägerbombs and an annoyingly long tube ride, we ended up near Shoreditch (wherever the hell that is), and proceeded down the street to where we were assured clubs lay in wait.
Sure enough, they did.
However, we made the mistake of asking a passing lady for directions/advice, because apparently we were trying to get to some specific club, which we had also forgotten the name of. So instead, following the advice of this lovely lady, we went to a place called El Paso. In the basement of this cocktail bar with a name that sounds like a mexican restaurant was a dance... place with pumping bass and flashing lights, with the charming little name of The Gopher Hole.
We stayed there, had some tequila shots, then left when we realised that we were pretty much the only people actually dancing. As we were leaving, however, about fifty people walked back through the same doors, so after an uneventful stroll down the street, where we went into a completely packed bar and then left just as quickly, and also found the two clubs we were looking fro but couldn't be fucked to stand out in the cold in the line, we returned to The Gopher Hole. Of course, by this time there was maybe three extra people in there, and a different DJ, so we didn't stay long.
By this time it was something like quarter to two, so we made the decision to make our way back home and instead get drunk off cheap Tesco's liquor. So, we made our way to the tube station, which just happened to have closed half an hour earlier, and then got advice to take the bus from a passing guy who also took all my change (He was actually promoting The Big Issue, and the liquor made me feel generous). So we waited for the bus all out in the cold, and took bus number N55 to Oxford Circus. We met some nice Canadian guy, talked to him on the way there, and then got off the bus, promptly walking off in the wrong direction for the next bus, since we actually had no clue as to what bus we were supposed to take, or where it left from. Luckily, I happened to spy the word "HAMMERSMITH" as the destination of bus no. N10, so we crossed the road to get to the bus, only to get denied by the bus driver, since the bus stop was actually three blocks down in the other direction.
So we followed that bus down to the bus stop, missed it because it turns out that busses drive faster than slightly tipsy people walk, and then went to Macca's (McDonald's, for all you non-aussies out there) to get some food while we waited for the next bus. It finally arrived, we played with the security camera while we waited to get to the last stop, finally got back, only to discover Tesco's Express doesn't sell alcohol after 11pm. I finally got to bed at about 3:30 am.
This morning I played Zelda all day.
Aaaaand thing number five. Which is what was going to be thing number four, until I forgot about it. So, in startling contrast to the monster of a story, here is a haiku I wrote about Jesus:
Jesus is a bitch.
Always speaks in parables,
I don't understand.
THE END :D.
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
Kong Hey Fatt Choi (or whatever)!
IT'S CHINESE NEW YEAR!
Or, at least, that's what I'd like to be able to say. And by that I mean I'd like to have already said it. Yesterday. Because that's when Chinese New Year was.
Anyway, here are my Chinese New Year resolutions:
1. World domination.
2. Force myself to like beer (see previous post).
3. Don't get thrown out of The Church any more.
4. ???
5. Profit!
6. Remember to make a post on actual New Years.
So, what are your Chinese New Year resolutions?
Or, at least, that's what I'd like to be able to say. And by that I mean I'd like to have already said it. Yesterday. Because that's when Chinese New Year was.
Anyway, here are my Chinese New Year resolutions:
1. World domination.
2. Force myself to like beer (see previous post).
3. Don't get thrown out of The Church any more.
4. ???
5. Profit!
6. Remember to make a post on actual New Years.
So, what are your Chinese New Year resolutions?
Monday, 16 January 2012
A wild post appeared!!
So. In light of my recent not-having-posted-in-the-last-month-and-a-week-ed-ness, I AM NOW WRITING A POST.
Well isn't that just fancy.
So. Um. Oh yes, if anybody actually cares, I am now in LONDON. Of course, the only people who read this blog at this point already know that, but.. y'know. For future reference or whatever.
SOME THINGS ABOUTLONDON ENGLAND:
Well isn't that just fancy.
So. Um. Oh yes, if anybody actually cares, I am now in LONDON. Of course, the only people who read this blog at this point already know that, but.. y'know. For future reference or whatever.
SOME THINGS ABOUT
- British keyboard layout is weird. WHY THE @ ABOVE THE APOSTROPHE.
- Everyone has a British accent. Those things are freakin' everywhere, man.
- Things are (relatively) cheap. THat is to say, everything is expensive in Australia.
- I left pretty much all of my chargers (along with my 3DS) in New York. My parent's will (hopefully) be sending them along shortly.
- THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SOLO (OR LIFT) HERE. In fact, I'm reasonably certain that Australia is possibly the only country in the world (except for maybe New Zealand) where you can get either of those. Which really pisses me off.
- Although, it is definitely possible to get Lemon Fanta, although I've only seen it in one shop, so far. And that stuff is close enough, I guess.
- The Occupy LSX (London Stock Exchange) protest is right outside St. Paul's Cathedral. I spent a fair amount of time just watching them put on some kind of demonstration. There were a fair few people with Guy Fawkes masks on. (Where can I get one of those? I really want one.)
Oh! And! I turned 18! Some things I discovered about alcohol:
- I can't drink beer. I might be hung from the nearest tree for saying this, but, quite honestly, I just don't like the taste.
- I am trying to fix this, though. I've resolved to force myself into liking beer by the end of the year.
- Guinness is even worse than beer.
- Jägerbombs are GODDAMN AMAZING.
- That being so, it is not advised to take them while jetlagged six hours behind. It'll only make it worse.
- I can drink cider. Rekorderlig is pretty much, the best. Strongbow is pretty crap.
- Wine is, more or less overrated. I drank about 5/12ths of a bottle last night and the worst I got was a mild headache.
- For some reason, two pints of Aspell's cider and a shot of vodka really gets me drunk quickly. I'm not too sure why.
- The UK standard drink system is weird and/or stupid. Wikipedia just told me that one UK unit is 10 mL of alcohol. In Australia it's 10 g of alcohol. Which, I guess, makes less sense, but at least that way you end up with nice neat numbers of standard drinks for anything you order. None of this "2.3 UK units" crap. ONE BEER SHOULD EQUAL ONE STANDARD DRINK.
*cough* Rant over.
But, yeah. I'm in London. And I will be here for the rest of the year.
Out.
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